So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
