i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
