Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize