Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
