So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
