I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
