I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
