apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Randomize