I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
