Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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