whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
