Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
