there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
