yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
