we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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