I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
