I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
