Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
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I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
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There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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