yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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