Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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