remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
