doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize