Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
