Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
