he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
