ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
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Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
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She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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