I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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