I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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