im so drunk with asians
where?
always
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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