i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He did a backflip because drugs
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