Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
How naked do you want me to be?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
