dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
