All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
