yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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