Pregnant stripper...not hot.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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