I think my vagina is haunted
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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