You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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