Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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