so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
