I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
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I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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