They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
