just tell him i said nine months
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if only i could text you this smell
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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