New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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