She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
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How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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