the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
