It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
its not stalking. its research.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
