How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's never too late to be topless.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
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i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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