Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
