I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
420 ftw
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
