i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
