It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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