Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
