i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
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You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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