Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
