I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
