She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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